I somehow feel good that I have this space to write. Although I dont write a lot. My life, it's moving. real fast. If my life was a car I'd say it moves to the speed of an SLK AMG. Not too fast like veyron, not to slow either. October was a good month.. with a tragedy for it's final bow. I broke up with the guy I never thought I'd have an end with. Yeah, I was starting to feel comfortable about us being together through storms and shits. To add up, he did told my aunt he was going to marry me next year. Yeah, I didn't cry when he left. I cried infront of him, and his friend. Because I thought it was only normal, not that I really wanted too. Well I'm glad it happened now. Too soon and I would've end up dead, too late and we'd both push each other to the ledge. I am in a content place I think. I don't remember how it feels like to be in his arms, or having him by my side. I know we were happy, but they all seem so distant, and Im lazy to jog for it. I guess you just know when it's time to let go. Maybe, too, I love him too much, I could let him go, so that he'd be happier. I somehow wished I had the chance to say this to him. But yeah, it's funny how friends can turn into sworn enemy. He didn't say he hated me, but I did. I guess it's easier that way.
And now Im going through transitions. It sure feels good to be single. But you can't make out and hold hands all the time anymore. Although you do get a little bit more of attention and response. Out of all this, I have my friends to live by, I have my family to live for, and I have my bandmates to run with, to chase the big dreams- the ultimate dream. And I did though had a crush on someone. Well to be honest, the way he talks attracts me a lot. Maybe I am that wolf falling for a bait. But it feels good, I wouldn't even bother to figure out what the consequences would be like, or even what the future would be like, it feels good to live in the moment, it feels damn good to act out of instinct, or hormones maybe. And having all this rotations in my life, I know I am going to be okay, and I know I am going to be on top of my wildest dreams or anywhere I set sail to. I know it feels good to have this journey.