Wednesday

when it's time

No. I won't be playing your game forever. You can't tell me not to fall in love so that you could have me until you want to. No. I am not your doll, There's no you written on me. We are just a phase, a loop, ghosts playing around. To the world we don't exist, and to the world we will never be. I will come and go as I may and so will you. We are not each other's lighthouse nor are we each other's ship. We're just tides, it's there for fun, for surfing, and a signal the water's still there. But we will pass and nobody will care of it no more. That's what you and I are, non-existance.

Sunday

a weird occurence

Hey you, isn't it just weird? How I never really notice how I feel until I saw you with her the whole night and morning after? I guess I like trippin' with you better than I liked it with him. Well oh whatever, feelings can come and eventually will go, and so far confusion is my life story.

I hope the night never ends. I want to feel happy and content in someone's arms. Feel like the lucky girl you shared your world with. Whoever you are. Well, if you're looking, please don't quit. Because I so wish you'd find me, and make me believe in love once again.

Wednesday

Love Replica

I know this is as far as it gets. I know it's as real as the skin I'm wearing. You make me turn into one whole bad person I avoided to be, I once hated, I promised I'd never become. I'm more selfish than I'd ever knew. Every time you open up a little bit more, I get sucked in a little deeper into your blackhole. Deep enough, my heart will burst into pixie tiny dust. I wished I knew you earlier.... or later. It's like volunteering for a homocide. I am after all, just that wild girl who fills in that empty space... an empty space you don't mind leaving. Like firefighter trucks every boy keeps up in the attic for years and years and will never bother peeking at once they get married. I am that firefighter truck, to watch and live your wildest fantasy. Fantasy, never your reality. She is. She is the tatoo on your skin, forever carved in, like blood through your veins. In a way I wished I could take her spot. But Im not mean enough. And I know, your real happiness is with her. I am not that girl to destroy your happiness. But just for a while, I would love to have those memories. Just for some time.

Tuesday

Denial denied

you found it than you dont. you nurture it, only to find out that it's torturing your spine, making you weighing more than you should. What would you choose? A selfish act that will hurt you and another person for a little taste of heaven, or an act that will make you seem loyal, but vulnerable, and could just be an act of stupidity? To tell of, both options equals to stupidity. Silly heart, silly silly heart.