Yesterday night, I cried myself to sleep thinking about him. I suddenly remembered back how it feels like to hold his hand, to play along with his silly jokes and funny faces. All the promises he made about making me happy. He even appeared in my dream, with Marlott haircut. which is weird cause he and his long hair are unseperable. I thought about writing to him, telling him that although I am comfortable with trying to move on, I can't lie about my love for him, two years is quite long I guess. And having my birthday getting nearer and nearer, I remembered how imagining he would be there to celebrate it with me and yeah maybe I could have the birthday I so wanted, the one I've planned two months in edvance. I am sad now that I think of it. But I can never go back to the past, I do now believe there's a reason for everything that happens. I don't regret knowing him. I just wish there was a different ending to it. I guess we never really move on, Maybe it's time that makes the pain goes away... little by little. I wish someday I can love again, someday we would meet again, that someday, if he wasn't meant for me, that I would find someone better. That if he was meant for me, someday we could reconcile and talk things through. I guess, only time will tell, and as for the moment, I'll just go wherever life leads me.

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