my wings

Here I am writing to you because as much as I'd like to, I don't think anybody could give me the best of advice, and nobody could be the desired listener. I feel caged. Well, I don't feel like that. I feel like I just wasted my time, my years, my teenage years. There's so many things I want to do. I want to tour with my band, just them. Play on a big stage with spotlights all around. I wanna hear the cheer, the adrenaline, I want all that. I want to see the world, I wanna see sunset in Paris and sunrise in Michigan. I wanna do things that sounds impossible, I wanna defy gravity. I wanna wear heels on a thursday night and get into a club and dance, then put on my boots and plenty of leather on Friday night and wham my guitar on stage. I wanna go shopping, without looking at any price tags. I wanna meet people, lots and lots of people. I want my old-fashioned car and drive all night without a fixed destination, just driving until I feel like stopping, steering where my hands wants to. I want to go study in the states, because I'd told that to myself since I was 10. Because mom and dad studied there, mostly because I just feel like I want to. Then live there for a while you know. I wanna try modeling, acting, dancing, speed driving, everything. I think I wanted to be like mom. She enjoys her sweet time, doing all the things she wants to back there in states. Geesh, sometimes it feels good if I could just catch the first plane to... I dont know, Netherlands maybe? That'll be pretty cool. I love plans, but maybe I just wish one day of spontanity (is that word?) with a best friend maybe? Alone seems promising too.