a weird occurence

Hey you, isn't it just weird? How I never really notice how I feel until I saw you with her the whole night and morning after? I guess I like trippin' with you better than I liked it with him. Well oh whatever, feelings can come and eventually will go, and so far confusion is my life story.

I hope the night never ends. I want to feel happy and content in someone's arms. Feel like the lucky girl you shared your world with. Whoever you are. Well, if you're looking, please don't quit. Because I so wish you'd find me, and make me believe in love once again.

Love Replica

I know this is as far as it gets. I know it's as real as the skin I'm wearing. You make me turn into one whole bad person I avoided to be, I once hated, I promised I'd never become. I'm more selfish than I'd ever knew. Every time you open up a little bit more, I get sucked in a little deeper into your blackhole. Deep enough, my heart will burst into pixie tiny dust. I wished I knew you earlier.... or later. It's like volunteering for a homocide. I am after all, just that wild girl who fills in that empty space... an empty space you don't mind leaving. Like firefighter trucks every boy keeps up in the attic for years and years and will never bother peeking at once they get married. I am that firefighter truck, to watch and live your wildest fantasy. Fantasy, never your reality. She is. She is the tatoo on your skin, forever carved in, like blood through your veins. In a way I wished I could take her spot. But Im not mean enough. And I know, your real happiness is with her. I am not that girl to destroy your happiness. But just for a while, I would love to have those memories. Just for some time.

Denial denied

you found it than you dont. you nurture it, only to find out that it's torturing your spine, making you weighing more than you should. What would you choose? A selfish act that will hurt you and another person for a little taste of heaven, or an act that will make you seem loyal, but vulnerable, and could just be an act of stupidity? To tell of, both options equals to stupidity. Silly heart, silly silly heart.

You

Im not always strong. My feelings are not for you to play with. I am not a bet you do with your friends to see who wins. I am not a game you play to make you look like a hero or to make you look cool. Or an item that can make you go, " look, she came after me". I am not heartless and I am almost always fragile.

Im tired of your games. No, it's not cool to tell me how much you like the girl that just pass by to see how I react, and pretend I am okay with it. I am not. But you will never know will you? I can't pretend infront of you anymore. I can't be just your friend when you keep sending me mixed messages. If you want me to be just a friend, than let me know clearly. So I won't have any hopes on you.

the other halves

Had a long talk with my best friend today. About our relationship, and the fact that we're both single. I think me and her, we're like, we share something that others dont. No matter how much misunderstandings we get into, and how long we've lost contacts, we always seem to find our ways around each other. She's always going to be there for me and me for her. Not just that, If I had a relationship with a narcissist guy and broke up, she will go through the same thing. Not because we planned it, but it always happens coincidentally. Then I learn that she's sick. Like sick sick, need medication sick. I still can't believe it and I do hope she'll get better.

Chapter II

I think I need a boyfriend for these few but crucial reasons:

Life is boring at times. I want cute messages that makes my heart goes awh. I want to feel the magic again. I need cuddling. I need someone to tell me, "hey, Im here, it'll be fine". I need physical contacts a.k.a sex. {whaaattt, everybody needs itttttt. dont judge. im just outspoken} I need to have a life and purpose{not that he'll be my whole purpose, but having support is good}

forced hellos, rushed goodbyes.

Yeah, I am closing the door that was never opened. Or atleast I almost had it opened. Plastering the bricks that I almost break to allow you in. But you never really wanted to pull me out. So I'm staying in and straying away from you. I couldn't care less about you. Really. I move swift like a wind. In this pulling strings game, let's just say we're not elastic enough. I won't bounce back, we never had a chance to create that bond. So Im gone. Yeah, and I did say I am tired of games. So if it's game you're looking for, Im sorry but I bailed. I'm not capable of any heartaches anymore. Or maybe because, in order for me to bleed for someone, I've to feel it's values. And, fact is Im already sucked dry, like a zombie. I need juice.

I think I Like You

Yeah, I really do think so. Without any reason and without any warnings. If Im not sober, I might just take the risk of kissing you the next time I see you. Let's just hope I am high in control, or I might just end up fooling my self. Or for that matter, maybe hurt someone? And this stupid love songs, doesn't help at all. They just make me realise a lot more how I am that into you. Can we be close enough so that I can hug you for goodbyes and lean on your back when I tell you about my day? We don't have to get physical, or be in a relationship, we can just be close. We can have a special bond of friendship, and be alone sometimes, being lazy or just watching at the stars. I don't know. You make me want to believe in love again. You make me feel like, maybe it's worth the risk again. I don't know if Im only feeling this at this short moment, but right now it's just how I feel. And they're getting harder to contain. Maybe im hoping you could lead me out from the walls that I built to strain myself from crashing into love's cruel game. But then again, maybe I'm hoping you could remind me how love was once beautiful.