Hollow

While writing, I am still trying to compose myself. Telling my own mind how fast the world moves. For a while, I wished some moments were made to last. These memories keep chasing me, like a little boy who cries for his mom, reaching out and strecthing out as far as he can, trying to cope, but always seemed to fail. 2011. I painted a few rainbows, and stepped on a few muds. The most disturbing fact of all, is that I stopped believing in love. I finally faced the cold hard fact that forever never did existed. Yet, I tried to remember what it felt like. Almost there, and I fell right back into my cave. Right behind the walls I alone built, because of this tiresome game, because of the bruise festering non stop, because of human's selfishness and because of my broken self. I had contained myself, yet I miss those feelings, I still want those feelings, but my fear had grown stronger than my will. And lusts, they're having a riot, but my dignity enforced powerfool troops. Someday I wished, I'd find the little girl who believed in fairy tales. Someday I wish, the little girl will find its way back home to this soul less beating heart.

A rich man's world

I dont mean to be emotional, because that's gross. But currently i feel disfunctional. It's like, wherever or whatever organs that's responsible for producing feelings went on a rage against the control of my brain. Not to mention, I think I have headache. Probably of watching too much television. I feel sluggish, I feel hungry (yes, I get hungry that fast nowadays, or most part of the day) and I feel like I'm so stationary and I hate that. I want to move, do new things, experience stuffs. I want to own money, work maybe, Yes I need money I have so much on my wishlist, and not to mention my rage is probably just below my head for people that owes me money. If I were evil, I'd ask them to pay up today. Hey, a debt's a debt. And sometimes people don't realise how much in debt they are. Mostly, Im on wits end today. It's like nothing goes wrong, but nothing goes right either. Told you Im stationary. So want to go to the beach. So want to shop. So want to get away. So want to shop. Yup. shop. Again. money. Whoever created this whole money system? I wish there were still barter system. Did I spell that right? I hope I did. Well, we created this whole materialistic world, and without it, we'd be stupid enough wandering how to survive.

red boots

The red boots stepped outside to the smell of after rain, the smell of wet grass
What a perfect day to breathe and live.
Saw a rainbow for the first time. Thought it looked beautiful, with colours and all.
What a thought, what a thought. Played with it for a little while, amazed at the colours, curious and all. Only to find out it's the sun that makes it pretty, it's the eyes that's fooled with tricks.
So dissapointed boots made its way and stepped into a puddle of mud.
"This looks awkward, but it looks fun" and played with it for a little while. But the mud they smothered the boots. Dirty enough to destroy a pretty pair of boots, and so it made its way, away from the stains and the source of it.
Landed themselves in an ocean of flowers, mesmerizing the eyes of everything with vision. And so the pair of hands to the pair of boots picked it up and put it in the pocket. Taking care with love, protecting it from beetles and bugs. But a flower is just flower and flowers withers and crumples. Without their leaves they're not as pretty, and without their scent they are only fit for frames, but when they die, they rot, they're nothing. So the pair of hands to the pair of boots, left it to fall, back to where it came from. And so with that the pair of boots kept on walking.
And then they stopped to a stream of river. With rocks and fishes and some pretty lotus, turtles swimming and little amphibians scurrying for food and play. Such fun place to be, such fun place to be. and so the body attached to the pair of feet to the pair of boots decided to stay and explore. And as far as the story goes, the red boots never left, havent left.

2011

hey-ho new year! It's been a while since i've been writing but yeah. it's new year and my life's escalating uphill. And that's fuckentastic. To tell of for a start. It started with a bang in Melbourne. Oh yeah organisms, I spent my last week of 2010 in Sydney and Melbourne. I told you I was going to have it there and I did. Told you. This wolf hunts high and low for whatever she says she wants, and this wolf owns it big time. If there's a little piece you organisms could use for help, just remember this words, those who were fooled and used by people never lose a dime, not even their time nor their breath. Because whatever god lays for you, is the things that can make you grow wiser and see things wiser. And, whatever god takes from you, He pays you back double the price, with interests. i remembered the day of my sotuary, or just call it gloomday. I told god, "if you want to take this person away and he is not for me, than give me a better guy and let my life bloom in every, every other part, including health, wealth, education, and career.. in this case, my band."

Facto number 1:

This guy makes me feel perfect despite being imperfect
This guy tells me I look fine no matter how thrashed up I look like
This guy acknowledges everything I do
This guy lets me throw my tantrums without shouting back
This guy knows how to comfort me
This guy wont let me cry, and when I do, he wont stop until he knows im fine.
This guy pays for my lunch and mostly everything
and he doesnt count how many times he did it
or how many miles it is from my house to his
This guy is a smartiepants and a rebel at the same time
Oh he's just smart, he speaks German
This guy is a musician
This guy reads Shakespere and speaks good english.
This guy doesnt stare at other girls boobs and tell them how big they are when he's with me.
I know boys will be boys, but every girl deserves that respect.
.....seriously you want me to go on?

Okay basically, the main agenda was to brag. But who cares it's my blog and I write whatever I feel like writing. facto number two is that Shewolves's on radio. Not that it's a race, but god is fair. Pattaya show coming up, more to come hopefully.

Emm, hey. One day Im going to do great things. Cliche enough. But with every step I take and everystep I took, i'll set a bar one line higher. And don't, Im not any limited edition item, there maybe few of them but there's still numbers. I'm custom made. Built to perform and last if kept well. 20 years and in the making. There's no way to forge me. No replacements will fit well. Think back if any of you used to hurt, label, or even dirt-talk me, when I'm fully built, furnished and ready, those things you parasites leave, are just gonna be another form of art.

bloody morning

My phone went ballistic yesterday. Which is fine because I could then still on it. And it started working fine. Then this morning. oh wait. been trying since 0200. it wont budge. And me, being stupid. I saved all my contacts in the phone. Why? because last time I was to change my simcard. But I didnt so I forgot that all those numbers are in my phone. And then this happens, in the midst of me trying to save up. Life sucks. Funny how a stupid box could affect your life, but oh well it did. I cling to it all the time. Oh and those messages in there. Thanks a lot.

huskies

This is wrong but Reasons why I will crash any walls to have you:

You little rascal. Your curiousity is the cutest thing ever, and because of that you can tear my couch enytime you want. I won't be mad :D

You're the macho-est thing ever. You're deep eyes makes my heart thump fast. You're sense of wanting to protect makes me fall drop dead over you.

- Because I will like you as a puppy and as a grown up dog.
come to think of it, this pretty much relates to you bebe, in a way. lol

one man's tale

The desire to turn, the urge to run
Not from presents, just flesh.
Not seeking the past, not calling the future.
All the battle I fought for nothing, I've laid to rest my rusted shield.
I've hung up the war in which I devoted and scared, and I've made a vow never to return.
All my blades and swords and my victory treasure chest, I'm already on my way of burying what was then mine and owned.
And any other words will be used in prayers.
On the storms I shall ride, on my new found ship.
And the seas I shall steer, come poseidon with wrath.
On a new horizon I will look and hope for.
Even if the wind blows the waves skyhigh,
earlier than the stars predict.

Even if the wind blows, and the storm don't last, I've devoted a new mission
And if I shall wait, then wait as long as I could
Even if my heart pours blood on my oars, I will steer until I reach shore.
And I will, find my treasure chest, better than the ones I buried.